I'm The One

NYC bound...we went immediately to Anna Maria's on Bedford and then i immediately got sick, right on schedule...i managed to hang at Daddy's for a sec and hear some of Mcleod's jams...Andy told me he once overheard Diamond Dave say "I used to come here to see the circus man! (then he swigs a bottle of Jack) Now I am the fucking circus!". Nuff said.


Holy Shirt!!!...Halen!!!...they did "I'm The One" second...we nearly cried with joy...that stage setup was all wrong, that "S" needs to be a "V"...am i right?...didn't matter though, they fucking ripped...let the records show that Alex Van Halen is easily the best live drummer on earth...i was pissing when he started the opening drum roll on "Hot for Teacher", i nearly zipped my dick up running out to the stands...Eddie still shreads too and Wolfgang kind of looks like Jack Osbourne, go figure.


Halen Blimp! or zeppelin, not totally sure...it did have a camera on it though, maybe we will be on VH1 Legends or something...it should be noted i'm pretty wasted at this point and losing patience rapidly.


This kind lady wouldn't sell me 2 beers because i had one in my hand...party fouled on a technicality...at this point the worst band i've ever heard is wrapping up their amazing set.


Hard to see the stage, i know...this is the opener...i forget his name because i made a special promise to myself to do that...they were basically a world music band with super positive AA style lyrics about being positive...needless to say i nearly horfed up my Waborita...these guys covered "Let it Be" but explained that they "changed some of the lyrics"...apparently, The Beatles need some punching up for the Izod Center.


Ok, by this point we are looking for our seats and this is a pretty acurate portrayal of my actual vision at the time...it was so smokey in there because they run smoke machines all day to make it more awesome when the band goes on...jayson explained this to me because he toured with High on Fire and shit like that...i should also explain that i've never been to an arena rock show in all my life...jayson on the other hand, saw Anthrax in like 1990.


So this guy had the best set-up of the night...home-made flags, puffy stickers from the 1984 album, drunk leathery moms drinking pinas, and an open trunk playing every Roth Halen record in order...Jayson said there was a rule in hardcore where you couldn't listen to the band you were going to see 24 hours in advance or you would jinx the show, with rock dudes you ONLY listen to that band 24 hours in advance...in case you are curious, yes that is a home-made Diver Down flag that says "Van Halen Kicks Ass" in iron-on letters...at this point i am pretty much in heaven and half-and-half*

*watch heavy metal parking lot again if you need the definition



Here's my night at Van Halen kids...jayson has got a half a bottle of tequila in that bottle..Do the Dew!