Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Performance Fart

As usual i am promoting the only band that matters...jeff is achieving some sort of literary apex with his new invite to their show at PS1 tomorrow...if you don't come to the shows, i don't wanna hear how they are yr favorite band next year when they win a paper magazine nightlife award...this is directed at vile, half-men like beck and moby, who manage to ruin everthing awesome...oh, come to heathers bar tonight for the return of pizza party...i hear the Noid is gonna be dancing to oldies...heres jeff's email for your perusement...

Dearest Patrons of the Arts,

THE JEWISH are scheduled to perform at a truly gala event…FINALLY! As you know THE JEWISH have been practically ignored by the NYC music scene (and by most of you) for the first year of our existence. Our band is so pleased to FINALLY be accepted into what appears to be a very exclusive teir of the contemporary arts cognoscenti. I think maybe we’ve found a home. We personally can’t wait to rub elbows and schmooze with some of the greatest artists alive on the planet!! We’ll be the first to admit that we don’t really know much about art itself BUT if there’s one thing THE JEWISH have learned about the NYC art scene is that it’s home to some of the most GENUINE and down to earth folks around. It’s a world refreshingly free of the kind of nepotism and charlatanism that runs rampant on the music scene. Moreover, these people are basically just HANDING us a giant pile of money to do what ever we want!!! That would NEVER happen at a rock club (trust us).

If THE JEWISH were lazy, pretentious and shamelessly self-indulgent WE COULD just get up there and do something totally boring, politically obvious and devoid of any entertainment value whatsoever and still get paid. We considered that, but then we remembered something very important….fans. Besides, that type of bullshit would never work in New York. People are way too discriminating here. Take for example the multiple mediums/video/performance/installation artist Sharon Hayes who will be performing last on the bill. Check out a description of her act As you can see this is going to be a lot of fun.

There is also FREE BOOZE (not sure about snacks). So don’t be thrown off or intimidated by all this confusing art stuff. If you just want to show up, party and maybe smoke out a little it’s totally fucking cool.

Word has been spreading about our last show where THE JEWISH performed THE ENTIRE REPO MAN SOUNDTRACK. Check it out… So, as you can see when we tell you we’re doing an “all new” set WE’RE NOT FUCKING AROUND!!! Some fans have asked us to reprise The Repo Man thing. Not gonna happen. You snooze you loose. So what do we have up our sleeves this time out?

We are going to feature an old friend and former bandmate of ours from the old days. His name is Smokey. Now I know that name might not mean anything to anybody reading this, but he’s been an invisible muse/silent advocate of our music for about 20 years. Really, he’s been THE WIND BENEATH OUR WINGS. Anyhow, since ol’ Smokey has rolled into town we’ve taken a good hard look at ourselves & our MUSIC especially. Smokey’s return has made us realize that we’ve changed…a lot! I guess it’s not like those first four years when 3 young guys bought a houseboat in Marin County and tried to take on the world! Awe hell!!! Three caballeros on an endless siesta!!! Anyhow, Smokey was pretty P.O’d that we weren’t jamming on any of our old shit. He called THE JEWISH “weak” and “obvious”. It hurt, but only for a minute. Smokey, frustrated and bitchy, figured rather than BEAT US he’d JOIN US!! So off we went!!! For the past10 days we’ve secluded ourselves in a sweaty little practice room. We’ve been revisiting some long-forgotten pre-THE JEWISH chestnuts and also written a couple new tunes too!!! This has really been like a rebirth for us. Smokey has been working our asses really hard and even though we’re getting pretty tight…he’s also totally loosened us up. He’s amazing. So strong. This whole transformation has got us wondering…is this still THE JEWISH or SMOKEY’S PLAYTHINGS? Hmmmmmm? Come find out for your self.

And performance “artist” Sharon Hayes

Thursday, December 14, 2006

6:30–9:30 p.m.

P.S.1 Contemporary Art Center

22-25 Jackson Ave. at 46th Ave.
Long Island City, Queens

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